Carmine Cutter

Carmine Cutter was a well known Mafia hit man,
Who got a hundred thousand bucks for each completed plan.
One day while he was on a job he cut off some guy's head,
So he could take it to the Mob and prove the guy was dead.

After sneaking out of town as quiet as a mouse,
He went into his hiding place, an old abandoned house.
He changed his clothes, then spent some time examining his prize,
Just holding it and staring at its soulless open eyes.

He heard a sound and turned around and saw it was a cat,
And hit it with the bloody head and yelled for it to "scat".
The cat ran off and didn't stop until it reached the place,
That was the office of the County Sheriff Martin Chase.

Martin let his cat inside and then became alarmed,
She had a lot of blood on her but seemed to be unharmed.
He had her looked at by his friend, one Dr. Isacc Newman,
Who found out very soon that all the blood on her was human.

Later on that evening Carmine heard the Sheriff yell,
"Freeze it creep, don't move unless you want a trip to Hell."
A lesson here for criminals, not much, it's only that,
No matter what you ever do, don't hit a Sheriff's cat.

- Jeff Huber (1988*)